Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
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