You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
