btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
you told grandpa to call you daddy
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
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