new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
