At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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