I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize
