On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
My ATM looks so different sober.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
