dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
