I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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