I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
