last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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