literally had 100 drinks last night.
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
