fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
