is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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