Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
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