She announced her abortion via fbk
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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