shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
