I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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