Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Randomize
