quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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