I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
