from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
why do cheetos always look like penises
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Randomize
