At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
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