it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
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