She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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