My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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