I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
