did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
