my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
