If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize