the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
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