; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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