I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
