Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Randomize
