all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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