Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
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