it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Randomize
