You really coming over, don't trick.
HIV tests are more positive than that guy
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize
