If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
