dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
