Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
oh god was she eating orange peels again
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
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