i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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