Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize