How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Randomize
