I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
me + whiskey = a bad person
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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