I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
