Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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