I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
