Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
