I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
We are two peas in an std pod
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
