Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
She needs sedatives and a leash
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
