So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Randomize
