I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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