wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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