Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Randomize
