haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
