After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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