sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
